1. What are some areas that could use more detail? Why?
You could maybe explain a little bit more about the 2007 and 2008 seasons and what happened.
2. What additional sources might the author use? Does the lead involve you in the story?
I would like to know a little bit more about what the difference is between a club and a varsity team. Also, you could use the coaches as a source.
3. Do the first 450 words contain a well defined scene (a detailed description of someone doing something or something happening)? What is it? If not, make a suggestion for a scene that might work
There really isnt any scene to me but i could deffinetly picture one or think of one for this story. Maybe try to tell about what happened in a game so people can poicture what is happening.
4. What questions would you like answered in the next 300 words? What would you like to see or hear more of? Less of? Include, any other suggestions you have for improvement.
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