1. Is there a clear point of view? (position)
The point of view, I am not sure of but the contraversy is over the fighting sioux.
2. Does the Op-Ed state the problem and solution simply?
I beleive the symbol for UND is going to change because indians find it offensive.
3. Does the piece address the counter arguments?
No, not really the story is based behind students of ND and nothing from the indian side. He could describe why it is the indians do not like the symbol and find it offensive.
4. Is the Op-Ed interesting?
Yes, the story is interesting and well written. Ill give him an A-
5. Are the paragraphs organized logically?
Yes
6. Does each paragraph develop an idea to support the thesis?
Each paragraph dovelopes an idea and does expand on the thesis.
7. Is the writing clear?
Yes, the story is easy to understand.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Peer Edit Jack Sullivan
1. Is there a clear point of view? (position)
Yes, there is.
2. Does the Op-Ed state the problem and solution simply?
Yes, it does. He explains why there are so many cops.
3. Does the piece address the counter arguments?
In ways yes it does.
4. Is the Op-Ed interesting?
Yes, it catches my attention because Ive been wondering why there has been more cops.
5. Are the paragraphs organized logically?
Yes
6. Does each paragraph develop an idea to support the thesis?
Yes.
7. Is the writing clear?
Yes.
Yes, there is.
2. Does the Op-Ed state the problem and solution simply?
Yes, it does. He explains why there are so many cops.
3. Does the piece address the counter arguments?
In ways yes it does.
4. Is the Op-Ed interesting?
Yes, it catches my attention because Ive been wondering why there has been more cops.
5. Are the paragraphs organized logically?
Yes
6. Does each paragraph develop an idea to support the thesis?
Yes.
7. Is the writing clear?
Yes.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Is speeding a big problem in todays econemy? What about drugs and alcohol? Why does it seem to take police so long to get to an accident? Have you ever wondered why there are so many more cops on duty now than there has been the past couple years? Speeding, drugs and alcohol is the main cause to this problem. Also, not to forget, the police need their money so of course their going to be glad to cover more shifts. There are over 100,000 traffic violations per day in the U.S. which amounts to over 41,000,000 traffic tickets per year. We believe that getting a speeding ticket or recieving a ticket for anything wont slow down speeders or disobey the law. Over 95% of people who receive a speeding ticket decide to just pay the fine instead of going to court for it. That, right there, pretty much explains the reason why people just keep on receiving tickets because to alot of people paying the fine isn't a big deal. If people really cared then they would be going to court for this kind of stuff instead of paying the ticket. The average amount of time it takes for police to show up to an accident or emergency call is approxametly 15 minutes but can extend to around 30 minutes depending on where you are. Too long, to arrive for an emergency report. What if the person is dying and the police are there but the ambulence hasnt showed up yet? Do the police know what to do in case a situation like that occurs?
Pre Writing Perspective Paper w/ Jack Sullivan
1. That to many cops are sitting around trying to catch someone making a minor traffic violation. then actually protecting and serving the community.
2. I do believe that there are too many cops looking for speeders.
3. The reason why is that we feel more cops should be protecting me and not trying to give me a traffic violation.
4. 1. The amount of drug use has gone up, so more cops have been hired.
2. The percentage of people that have recieved a traffic violation in the past year.
3. The amount of time it takes for them to show up for an accident compared to a traffic violation.
4. That the city just wants their money for the ticket. They dont actually care about the violation.
5. To watch for cops and drive more carefull.
6. It will reduce the amount of traffric violations and get more cops to focus on drugs and other major offences.
2. I do believe that there are too many cops looking for speeders.
3. The reason why is that we feel more cops should be protecting me and not trying to give me a traffic violation.
4. 1. The amount of drug use has gone up, so more cops have been hired.
2. The percentage of people that have recieved a traffic violation in the past year.
3. The amount of time it takes for them to show up for an accident compared to a traffic violation.
4. That the city just wants their money for the ticket. They dont actually care about the violation.
5. To watch for cops and drive more carefull.
6. It will reduce the amount of traffric violations and get more cops to focus on drugs and other major offences.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Peer Edit: Jeff C.
1. What are some areas that could use more detail? Why?
You could maybe explain a little bit more about the 2007 and 2008 seasons and what happened.
2. What additional sources might the author use? Does the lead involve you in the story?
I would like to know a little bit more about what the difference is between a club and a varsity team. Also, you could use the coaches as a source.
3. Do the first 450 words contain a well defined scene (a detailed description of someone doing something or something happening)? What is it? If not, make a suggestion for a scene that might work
There really isnt any scene to me but i could deffinetly picture one or think of one for this story. Maybe try to tell about what happened in a game so people can poicture what is happening.
4. What questions would you like answered in the next 300 words? What would you like to see or hear more of? Less of? Include, any other suggestions you have for improvement.
You could maybe explain a little bit more about the 2007 and 2008 seasons and what happened.
2. What additional sources might the author use? Does the lead involve you in the story?
I would like to know a little bit more about what the difference is between a club and a varsity team. Also, you could use the coaches as a source.
3. Do the first 450 words contain a well defined scene (a detailed description of someone doing something or something happening)? What is it? If not, make a suggestion for a scene that might work
There really isnt any scene to me but i could deffinetly picture one or think of one for this story. Maybe try to tell about what happened in a game so people can poicture what is happening.
4. What questions would you like answered in the next 300 words? What would you like to see or hear more of? Less of? Include, any other suggestions you have for improvement.
Peer Edit: Jack S.
1. What are some areas that could use more detail? Why?
You could of possibly added more detail possibly describing what products weren't selling and why Feet Farm is no longer receiving business.
2. What additional sources might the author use? Does the lead involve you in the story?
Yes, the lead involves us as being the customers of the situation. You had a good amount of sources. Great Job Jack!!
3. Do the first 450 words contain a well defined scene (a detailed description of someone doing something or something happening)? What is it? If not, make a suggestion for a scene that might work.
Yes, it could be made a little bit more clearer but I could picture what would be happening in the scene you are describing. The employees standing around with not much to do just chillin.
4. What questions would you like answered in the next 300 words? What would you like to see or hear more of? Less of? Include, any other suggestions you have for improvement.
You could deffinetly explain and talk about if you're worried about getting fired and what your worries are about what could possibly happen to you.
You could of possibly added more detail possibly describing what products weren't selling and why Feet Farm is no longer receiving business.
2. What additional sources might the author use? Does the lead involve you in the story?
Yes, the lead involves us as being the customers of the situation. You had a good amount of sources. Great Job Jack!!
3. Do the first 450 words contain a well defined scene (a detailed description of someone doing something or something happening)? What is it? If not, make a suggestion for a scene that might work.
Yes, it could be made a little bit more clearer but I could picture what would be happening in the scene you are describing. The employees standing around with not much to do just chillin.
4. What questions would you like answered in the next 300 words? What would you like to see or hear more of? Less of? Include, any other suggestions you have for improvement.
You could deffinetly explain and talk about if you're worried about getting fired and what your worries are about what could possibly happen to you.
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